DNA Evidence Implicates Too Short in Death of “Blow Job Betty”
Oakland, CA. – Oakland police made a huge break in a cold case today as a DNA sample implicated rapper Too $hort in the death of Oakland native Blow Job Betty. Using DNA samples that had been...
View ArticleMenendez Brothers Sign Contract to Compete in Double Stuf Racing League
East Hanover, NJ – Looking to create some publicity and inject a little more flair into its new Double Stuf Racing League, Oreo announced today that they have signed Lyle and Erik Menendez to a...
View ArticleLarely’s First Annual “Self Storage Amnesty Day” a Huge Success
Larely, CA – Carrying everything from severed heads and limbs to mattresses with the tags removed, citizens of Larely turned out in overwhelming numbers to participate in Larely’s first Annual “Self...
View ArticleLarely Outsources 911 Call Center to India
Larely, CA – In a move that is slated to save the city of Larely up to $5 million a year, Mayor Vern Bixler announced today that Larely’s 911 call center has been outsourced to Calcutta, India. Bixler...
View ArticleWikipedia Issues Formal Apology for Not Having “Cal Jammer” Entry
St. Petersburg, FL – Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales made a very heartfelt public apology today when it was discovered that the site does not have an entry for the late Cal Jammer, a male porn star who...
View ArticleOpinion: Thankfully for Donte Stallworth, He Only Killed A Person and Not a Dog
As a practicing lawyer and chief legal correspondent for “The Larely Beagle”, a lot of people have asked me my opinion on Donte Stallworth’s recent legal snafu in which he struck and killed a man with...
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